well. that was something.
The man at the corner apartment has a Lexus.
1. Swim in the Dead Sea. Feel the healing powers. Feel excessively buoyant.
Now that Aaron has officially started law school and I am officially terminally and acutely unemployed, I have begun to domesticate.
I’ve become more of a crier in recent years, and I still have yet to decide if this means I am a weaker or stronger person than I used to be. I used to always bottle up emotions, but I always felt it took an enormous amount of strength to do so. I felt in control. But I suppose as a result of my relationship with Aaron, if nothing else, I’ve let go. He can tell anyways, he can read my stress. And this awareness opens the floodgates. Only now I can’t close the damned things. I wish I could say this makes me feel open, relieved, more in touch with my emotions, but somehow the release makes me feel more disconnected from them. When you bottle something up, you own it, you cultivate it. It belongs to you alone. To share emotions is to dump them into a whole new arena of analysis and action.
I now own two suits. Grey. Black. Boring.
I think we can all safely say that since the birth of Facebook we feel far more entitled and addicted to entering and spying other people’s lives than ever before. And the less you actually know someone, the more seedy and wrong it feels to spy, the better it feels.
One thing I never took the time to consider until now is that when I became “wife”, I also became “aunt”. Aaron has three nephews and a niece that for the most part have always felt like siblings because three out of the four are closer to our age than anyone else’s. So spending last week having my new “niece” Kaitlin stay over and hang out with us has felt more like spending time with a fourth sister I never had.
I am addicted to cleaning because it is the only non-destructive form of immediate gratification in my life. Pounds take weeks to come off. Dust is gone in one swipe. No matter how much collects, gone just as fast.
Up until three weeks ago I kept all of my important documents filed in a velvet covered Lisa Frank folder.