As Real and Substantial as Nacho Cheese

There was this optimal moment where everything at work was fresh and new (the sights, the sounds, the people, the drama) and I still had a bank of extra sleep from the summer to fuel my creative mind and ideas just flowed out of me like fake nacho cheese from a spout.

Now, I’m mush. My brain is mush. Work is work and sleep is needed. I’ve noticed a stark decline in blog content in the last few weeks but feel powerless to stop it. Energy has been thrust elsewhere.

To provide you with something in the interim and in lieu of real content, I give you the trend entry.

What is Now and What is Five Minutes Ago:

NOW: golden yellow, lime yellow, mixing neon yellow with black and white. Yellow, yellow, yellow. Also, Robin’s Egg blue.

TAKING FIVE: Jewel tones. Bye-bye turquoise, sorry to see you go.

NOW: antique furniture painted in pastels and trendy colors. Shiny paint, not matte.

BITING THE BIG ONE: modern looking, plastic furniture. No more metal, adios Ikea.

NOW: Prep School and Grunge. Different mentalities, different movements, converging simultaneously to promote a love of plaid. PLAID PLAID PLAID. Also, Longchamp bags.

NOW TRASH: Your Coach bag. Sorry kids. I know I will continue to wear mine (my momma didn’t raise no fool, that shit is expensive) but the truth is leather accented bags are replacing the all-leather sector.

Then of course there is the epic and continuous battle between black and brown, gold and silver. Black purse, gold jewelry? There always comes a point in time where you have to make a decision between the two on a staple-clothing purchase. And more than likely, you are always wrong. Not because you are unfashionable, but because the “answer” changes too goddamn often. As of this SECOND in time, the answer is gold and brown. But even that is a ticking time bomb.

Guidelines:

  • Brown/gold, Black/silver are generally paired together. If you are buying a leather item with metal accents (such as a purse or shoes with a buckle) opt for those combinations. More than likely, it will stay fashionable longer.
  • Shoes tend to trend black more often than brown. It’s good to have a couple of expendable brown shoes in your repertoire, but when shelling out the big bucks for long-lasting classics, go black.
  • Watches- I personally have never been very attracted to either gold or silver (they are all so plain, all the same look), so I go super trendy with my choices, knowing the thing will probably break around the time it goes out of style anyhow.
  • Wedding rings always screw you over. The hope is that your marriage is going to outlast at least 3 or 4 of these shifts in trend, so pick what you genuinely want, regardless of current standards in style. A good way to do this is to look at vintage jewelry to see what attracts you. Want something timeless? Fashion it after something that already is.
  • Purchasing items that happen to be both brown and black or both gold and silver is not the “perfect solution” to this debate. Unless you are under the rare circumstances that a designer has chosen to highlight this particular feature in their design (whereby using MUCH different textures to achieve both black and brown on say, a purse) chances are that anything containing both options in the same design is a no-no. Notice the label? Yeah, that’s what I thought. What about watches you say? You think you’ve seen a Rolex that has both silver and gold in the band? Alls I have to say is, rich people can have bad taste too, and if MTV Cribs has taught us nothing, it is that there is ALWAYS a market for people willing to buy high-end gaudy crap.

Additions? Revisions?

2 thoughts on “As Real and Substantial as Nacho Cheese

  1. see! I bought this yellow wallet I have forever ago. Everyone in my family said it was disgusting. Now every time I take it out to pay everyone is all “oooo where did you get that?”bitches.

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